Graham Stone has had an eminent career as one of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II’s royal gardeners, spending 40 years working at Windsor Castle. Since retiring from this prestigious role four years ago, he has been volunteering in the gardens at Thames Hospice in Maidenhead, Berkshire.
“My stepfather was a resident in a hospice in Surrey. The hospice didn’t have a garden and so it was difficult to find a place to rest and recharge when I was with him. I started volunteering for Thames Hospice after the charity moved to its current facility in 2020.”
The hospice is set in 8 acres of beautiful gardens and a lakeside position right on the shores of Bray Lake in Maidenhead.
“The gardens at Thames Hospice offer patients and their families an outdoor space to take a break,” said Graham.
The National Garden Scheme have provided invaluable support to Hospice UK and the wider sector in recent years, and have donated more than £7 million in support of hospice care since 1996.
If you’re looking to adapt a garden for someone living with a terminal illness, Graham has shared some of his tips and experiences to help you support your loved one.
1) Create distractions through nature
Make sure that the plants you include in the garden will attract pollinators such as butterflies and bees. If you are able to, put things on a wall that the patient can see such as a bee hotel, and encourage them to ask questions about it.
“In my garden at home, something as simple as sitting in the sun and watching little solitary bees coming in, laying their eggs and then sealing them over gives me great pleasure,” said Graham.
“Our gardens at the Hospice provide a safe haven for those we are caring for and supporting at life’s most difficult time, which helps them to take their mind off their illness,” said Graham.
2) Attract birds to your garden
If there are birds coming into your garden regularly, consider installing a bird feeder. Patients can look out for different varieties of birds visiting – it can sometimes help as a distraction.
“My stepfather’s bed was downstairs at home, and he loved watching the wildlife, especially birds. I created a bird feeder in the garden using bamboo, and he used to watch them flying in and feeding. He was in a lot of pain and discomfort but that just took him away, it was invaluable,” said Graham.
3) Keep the garden simple
Not everyone will have lots of time to spend maintaining their garden so invest in long-lasting plants, which are easy to care for and offer year-round interest.
“The Hospice gardens have been designed to be fairly low maintenance, but there is always plenty to do for our garden volunteers,” said Graham.
4) Draw on the garden’s therapeutic benefits
Graham has recently starred in a video with Hospice UK’s long-standing partners, the National Garden Scheme, talking about how the stunning gardens and diverse wildlife at Thames Hospice have an immense therapeutic benefit to patients and visitors.
Alongside his volunteer duties as Horticultural Ambassador for Thames Hospice, Graham dedicates a lot of time to helping with visits and tours at the Hospice for schools and other local groups. “We take the children on our nature trails and talk about how the garden benefits people we care for as well as our staff.”
“We provide the children with a gentle education around hospice care and try to impress upon them that it’s not a sad place to be,” said Graham.
He also comes in twice a week to support patients, offering them garden therapy. “Our patients really enjoy pottering and planting in the Hospice gardens. This summer we grew tomatoes and radishes. Some of our patients have used the ingredients in their sandwiches.”
5) Appeal to your senses
When it comes to the planting, include a variety of smells, which could come from flowers or foliage, textures and leaf shapes in the garden. The sound of running water can also invoke the senses, having a calming effect on people.
“Grasses provide some lovely movement and colour, and if you sit and watch for long enough, you can often see butterflies and solitary bees visiting to get their nectar. With most grasses, you just need to cut them back in the spring and this will ensure that you benefit from the movement all year round,” said Graham.
6) Invite your local community in
The Hospice also has a café, which is open to the public. The profits from the café go back into supporting the hospice but it is also an opportunity for the public to come in and see what a vibrant, happy place the hospice is.
“The gardens at Thames Hospice have a natural planting scheme, with a wild meadow where we just let things grow. Local wildlife groups have given us some advice on A native plant is one that originated or arrived naturally in a particular place without human involvement. In the British Isles, native plants are those that were here during the last ice age or have arrived unaided since.
7) Assess the accessibility of the garden
At Thames Hospice, each bedroom on the inpatient unit has its own private terrace, which is fully accessible to the gardens. “You can bring out beds and chairs so that patients can spend time outside with their families. It’s a place where they can sit, reflect and talk, while taking in the beauty of the gardens,” said Graham.
8) Celebrate your loved one through plants
“In the past, people have donated plants such as rose bushes to commemorate their loved ones, but now we encourage people to donate funds to go towards buying plants.
“I’ve also been given plants from the royal household – this year we’ve been gifted cyclamen and some beautiful poinsettias for our patients.”
9) Create a space to grieve
The moment when somebody passes away is an important one, so it’s important to ensure that there’s a private place for families to go. You don’t want them to feel anxious that someone might be watching them as they grieve.
Thames Hospice provides complex, specialist palliative and end-of-life care for people with life-limiting conditions, as well as vitial support for their families.
There are more resources on caring for someone with a terminal illness available from Hospice UK, Marie Curie, Sue Ryder and Macmillan Cancer Support.