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Creating a garden for someone living with a terminal illness

How to adapt a garden for people living with a terminal illness, from Thames Hospice Volunteer and Horticultural Ambassador Graham Stone

Graham Stone has had an eminent career as one of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II’s royal gardeners, spending 40 years working at Windsor Castle. Since retiring from this prestigious role four years ago, he has been volunteering in the gardens at Thames Hospice in Maidenhead, Berkshire.

Graham Stone outside Buckingham Palace after being awarded the Royal Victorian Medal (RVM) from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in 2012 as a reward for his long service to the Sovereign
“My stepfather was a resident in a hospice in Surrey. The hospice didn’t have a garden and so it was difficult to find a place to rest and recharge when I was with him. I started volunteering for Thames Hospice after the charity moved to its current facility in 2020.”

The hospice is set in 8 acres of beautiful gardens and a lakeside position right on the shores of Bray Lake in Maidenhead.

“The gardens at Thames Hospice offer patients and their families an outdoor space to take a break,” said Graham.

It gives people some time away from a clinical setting. Most importantly for our patients, and also for our staff who care for patients facing end-of-life, as well as providing vital support for families

Stephanie Peters, Head of Marketing and Communications for Thames Hospice

The National Garden Scheme have provided invaluable support to Hospice UK and the wider sector in recent years, and have donated more than £7 million in support of hospice care since 1996.

If you’re looking to adapt a garden for someone living with a terminal illness, Graham has shared some of his tips and experiences to help you support your loved one.

1) Create distractions through nature

Attract pollinators such as butterflies and bees to your garden to provide your loved one with a lovely distraction
Make sure that the plants you include in the garden will attract pollinators such as butterflies and bees. If you are able to, put things on a wall that the patient can see such as a bee hotel, and encourage them to ask questions about it.

“In my garden at home, something as simple as sitting in the sun and watching little solitary bees coming in, laying their eggs and then sealing them over gives me great pleasure,” said Graham.

With a little bit of effort and thought you can make the smallest of gardens into a little nature reserve, providing a lovely distraction for staff, patients and their families

Graham Stone, Ambassador and Volunteer for Thames Hospice

“Our gardens at the Hospice provide a safe haven for those we are caring for and supporting at life’s most difficult time, which helps them to take their mind off their illness,” said Graham.

2) Attract birds to your garden

Consider installing a bird box in your garden to attract the birds and encourage your loved one to watch and listen for them
If there are birds coming into your garden regularly, consider installing a bird feeder. Patients can look out for different varieties of birds visiting – it can sometimes help as a distraction.

“My stepfather’s bed was downstairs at home, and he loved watching the wildlife, especially birds. I created a bird feeder in the garden using bamboo, and he used to watch them flying in and feeding. He was in a lot of pain and discomfort but that just took him away, it was invaluable,” said Graham.

3) Keep the garden simple

Planters offering year-round interest in the gardens at Thames Hospice
Not everyone will have lots of time to spend maintaining their garden so invest in long-lasting plants, which are easy to care for and offer year-round interest.

“The Hospice gardens have been designed to be fairly low maintenance, but there is always plenty to do for our garden volunteers,” said Graham.

4) Draw on the garden’s therapeutic benefits

Graham Stone with some patients in the gardens at Thames Hospice
Graham has recently starred in a video with Hospice UK’s long-standing partners, the National Garden Scheme, talking about how the stunning gardens and diverse wildlife at Thames Hospice have an immense therapeutic benefit to patients and visitors.

The enormous mental health and wellbeing benefits not only in terms of the care we offer, but the gardens too, is so important to patients

Graham Stone, Ambassador and Volunteer for Thames Hospice

Alongside his volunteer duties as Horticultural Ambassador for Thames Hospice, Graham dedicates a lot of time to helping with visits and tours at the Hospice for schools and other local groups. “We take the children on our nature trails and talk about how the garden benefits people we care for as well as our staff.”

“We provide the children with a gentle education around hospice care and try to impress upon them that it’s not a sad place to be,” said Graham.

Our patients love to see the children in the garden, reminding them that life goes on

Graham Stone, Ambassador and Volunteer for Thames Hospice

He also comes in twice a week to support patients, offering them garden therapy. “Our patients really enjoy pottering and planting in the Hospice gardens. This summer we grew tomatoes and radishes. Some of our patients have used the ingredients in their sandwiches.”

It’s just like a big family, I see myself as being on their journey and it’s an absolute privilege to be on that journey

Graham Stone, Ambassador and Volunteer for Thames Hospice

5) Appeal to your senses

Different foliage textures and colours can sometimes help as a distraction
When it comes to the planting, include a variety of smells, which could come from flowers or foliage, textures and leaf shapes in the garden. The sound of running water can also invoke the senses, having a calming effect on people.

“Grasses provide some lovely movement and colour, and if you sit and watch for long enough, you can often see butterflies and solitary bees visiting to get their nectar. With most grasses, you just need to cut them back in the spring and this will ensure that you benefit from the movement all year round,” said Graham.

The gardens often get people to open up. When I’m out in the garden with patients, they sometimes tell you things that they maybe haven’t shared with their families

Graham Stone, Ambassador and Volunteer for Thames Hospice

6) Invite your local community in

Graham Stone with a group of staff and patients at Thames Hospice
The Hospice also has a café, which is open to the public. The profits from the café go back into supporting the hospice but it is also an opportunity for the public to come in and see what a vibrant, happy place the hospice is.

The café has an amazing terrace that is decked out with beautiful pots and plants and has an incredible view of Bray Lake

Stephanie Peters, Head of Marketing and Communications for Thames Hospice

“The gardens at Thames Hospice have a natural planting scheme, with a wild meadow where we just let things grow. Local wildlife groups have given us some advice on native species. It’s great to be able to work with the community; it’s something every hospice needs to do,” said Graham.

7) Assess the accessibility of the garden

Patients at Thames Hospice are able to sit in the gardens while taking in their beauty
At Thames Hospice, each bedroom on the inpatient unit has its own private terrace, which is fully accessible to the gardens. “You can bring out beds and chairs so that patients can spend time outside with their families. It’s a place where they can sit, reflect and talk, while taking in the beauty of the gardens,” said Graham.

Make small changes to improve the accessibility of a garden, particularly for people who might have a condition where it’s physically challenging

Graham Stone, Ambassador and Volunteer for Thames Hospice

8) Celebrate your loved one through plants

The royal household gifted poinsettias to the patients of Thames Hospice
The staff and volunteers of Thames Hospice make a real effort to celebrate Christmas each year
“In the past, people have donated plants such as rose bushes to commemorate their loved ones, but now we encourage people to donate funds to go towards buying plants.

“I’ve also been given plants from the royal household – this year we’ve been gifted cyclamen and some beautiful poinsettias for our patients.”

This time of year is special; we are very aware that some people might not see another Christmas

Graham Stone, Ambassador and Volunteer for Thames Hospice

9) Create a space to grieve

The moment when somebody passes away is an important one, so it’s important to ensure that there’s a private place for families to go. You don’t want them to feel anxious that someone might be watching them as they grieve.

Thames Hospice provides complex, specialist palliative and end-of-life care for people with life-limiting conditions, as well as vitial support for their families.

We have a bereavement garden here as well, which is a completely private space, for people who have lost their loved one and are grieving

Graham Stone, Ambassador and Volunteer for Thames Hospice

There are more resources on caring for someone with a terminal illness available from Hospice UK, Marie Curie, Sue Ryder and Macmillan Cancer Support.

About the author - Charlotte Olver

Charlotte is a digital content editor with a focus on community and accessibility gardening.

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